Grandma: Part II

This here describes the stages a person [ME in this case] goes through upon the death of a family member or close friend. Of a GRANDMA -- It is really more accurate to use the word "phases" because people do not go through the grief process in an orderly manner [copy? Cool...]

• First phase is shock. Similar to learning of a terminal illness, the first reaction of a person who is told that a loved one has died is, "No." A feeling of numbness sets in. Some people simply say that life seems unreal.
• The second phase is denial. We are a death denying society. Even our language tends to deny the reality of death by using terms such as "passed away" instead of the word "dead." We want to deny that death has taken place. In the denial phase, people hope that it isn't true. They may feel like this is just a bad dream and when they wake up, every thing will be all right. However, healing from grief can not take place until the person is past this step and has accepted the reality of death.
• The third phase is anger. Once our minds accept the fact that death has indeed taken place, anger usually erupts. Again, this anger may be directed at God (which for a religious person results in a feeling of guilt for feeling that way about the Almighty) or it may be directed to doctors, medicine in general, another family member or even directed inwards ("If only I had dot dot dot...") Again, guilt enters. Anger may also be directed at the world in general. "How can everyone just go about their business when such a tragedy has just happened?"
• The fourth phase is mourning. This is usually the longest lasting phase -ugh. It can last for months or years. It may be characterized by feelings of depression, continued guilt, physical illness, loneliness, panic, and periods of crying triggered for no apparent reason.
• The fifth phase is recovery. Some would not call this phase recovery, because it can be said that one never "recovers" from a death. Death changes our lives forever. Things will never be "right" again. Although the pain of death will diminish in time, it never goes away. We will always long for a person we truly loved. But at some point, we usually find ourselves re-establishing our lives and moving on. That is seen in this phase. 
• YOU THINK I COULD DO IT?? OR WHAT??